Bus musings

Much like J.D. from Scrubs, or maybe even because I had friends who would sit and watch episodes on DVD for hours on end (I gladly participated!), I have a tendency to narrate my life as it happens around me.

How's that for a run-on sentence?

So today on the bus, the cover of the magazine a woman was reading caught my eye. It was People, about a month old. The cover article was about Jennifer Hudson's weight loss. It got me to thinking about how I felt about it and why some random actresses' body. And about how I hate myself for judging women's bodies. With those thoughts swirling around in my head, it dawned on me to put it in the blog.

This happens a lot, an idea occurs to me on the bus, but by the time I get home it's gone! Maybe I should carry a small notebook in my purse. I just worry about looking like a nutter writing notes about the things going on around me. Either way, I remembered today, so here I go!

I hadn't thought of it until today, but I guess Jennifer Hudson is a bit of a role model for me. Or perhaps was. Or maybe I should say I looked up to her, but I didn't idolize her in any way. Details aside, I'm glad Miss Hudson is happy with her body. In preparing for this post, I read the article in Essence that shows weight loss was a priority from the start. She's clearly achieving that goal. I just kind of...miss the Jennifer, you know? When I did the aforementioned research (alright, I Google searched Jennifer Hudson+whatever so many times I might look a little like a stalker) I started noticing serious strides in her weight loss after her son was born in 2009. So that's about the line I'm drawing when I say pre-weight loss. Eh?

I draw the line at calling Miss Hudson a role mode for myself. I guess I just always felt sort of connected with her. Not in a creepy way! I just thought that if a woman with a body and a face so much like mine can be confident and sexy in the media, maybe there's hope for us all.

No, the world doesn't rest on a celebrity's shoulders in my mind! That type of beauty isn't seen a whole lot in main stream media, so when Jennifer made appearances looking dazzling, it made me hope that more celebrities like her would surface.

Just look at the picture on the right! Shazam, I love the way her face is filled out! I love the little tummy. I love every last little thing about the woman in this picture. She is HOT!

However, I feel stupid for ragging on a woman for losing weight. She wasn't happy in her body so she changed it, which is something I preach about all the time! And on an issue so closely intertwined with health, I look like an asshole saying Miss Hudson should have stayed unhealthy because I want to uphold a certain standard of beauty. I just wish I had a few more women to look up to is all.

More of the same

I have bruises all over myself. While I wish I could say they're from something interesting, they're from me being a klutz. I ran into one of the mixing bowls at work going full-speed walt. Do you see the two pieces of metal that stick out on the right hand side? Straight into the thigh. Holy fuck that hurt. I know that there's nothing to gauge size against in this picture, so imagine that it's 100 pounds. And with my (approximately)5'6" wing span, I can't get my arms all the way around the bowl. Yowch!

The bruises on my shoulders and arms are all also somehow work related. If someone were to take a look at me, they might think I'm abused because of all the burns and cuts and bruises on me. Haha. It comes with the territory, they tell me. (Though I also hear that you get better about not burning yourself.)

I had things I wanted to write about today, but right now, all I can think of is how badly I want a nap.

An oddly unproductive day

Today was my day off and I managed to sleep until 1 in the afternoon. 1! And I go to bed at 6, thanks to my insane schedule. Dinner was a frozen 1-pot pasta dinner...aye...

But yesterday, while we were out with some friends, Andre told me our roommate/landlord offered to extend our lease until the end of July. This is good for us because there's allegedly an apartment coming available mid-July in complex I'm just in love with! Having that secured and on the horizon would really ease a lot of anxiety for me.

As for yesterday's chores, I completed them and was righteously rewarded for them. :)

Slowly, slowly

Andre and I's relationship started out with a bang. It quickly became a drama-filled, emotionally draining then a coma-inducingly boring routine. But that bang, mmph, it was so good.

Imagine this, if you will: I'm 23, I have my first almost-big kid job (enough for me to barely be able to afford a room in a house) and I'm living on my own, supporting myself away from home for the first time. My mind is open to new experiences.

Enter, stage left: Andre, a much older, handsome, charming man. One who sings to himself and indulges my love of long intoxicated nights sitting on the porch. Never mind that he's 42. Age is just a number, right? (Spoiler alert: we'll return to that issue many times throughout the course if this blog, I'm sure)

The first time we had sex (admittedly, this was also on our first date), we had some sort of mid-makeout banter that went something along the lines of:

Andre: "What would you do to make me come?"

Me: "I'd do anything to make you come."

Andre: "Anything?"

Me: "Anything."

Andre: "You are a submissive little thing, aren't you?"

Me: "Yes sir."

Andre: "Do you want to be a slave, Frosting?"

And so it went. I don't think either of us really knew or even still fully knows what that means. But this was how I described myself for several months, and how I thought. Master (who is, of course, Andre. I'll be using these terms interchangeably.) came first and keeping him happy was a the top priority. There was the sexual servitude that every one thinks about, of course, but there was also cooking and cleaning and various little chores.

Sometime in December, it all changed. I'm not sure what happened, but we slowly slid from having sex every day to being lucky to sneak it in every few weeks. The servitude that seeped from my pores dried up and Master's commands stopped coming. We've existed in a mostly vanilla holding pattern for the last 6 months. So you can imagine my surprise when I received a text this morning after work (I work nights) saying "Slave Frosting: I have not been giving you instructions. Please take out the trash and do a load of dishes." Things look mighty good from where I'm sitting.

The beginning in the middle?

Welcome to my blog! I call it other news because I started out writing strictly about my BDSM relationship with Andre* but I was having a hard time containing what I write about to that. Especially when we find ourselves, as many couples do, in a rut. Circumstances can dry up my source material.

So I've decided to sort of start fresh. Expand my horizons. I want to write about what's on my mind, what's going on in my life, what inspires me. Maybe, hopefully, it will inspire you, too!

Now that the first post is out of the way, look for new content on the horizon!

*I mean, come on, do you think the names in this blog will be real? All names in this blog, unless otherwise noted, have been changed. This will always be the case. FOREVER! :)